It's strange how friends get mad at each other. Who I choose to be with is my decision. I've done a lot of shitty stuff in the past but last night was wow. A friend of mine insulted my mom and my bf, of course including myself and in no way were they sorry. It's one thing to insult me, its another to insult my family.

The whole thing is strange. I kinda get it but then again I don't. I've had numerous friends who have had bad relationships and got back together w/the guy and even if I don't like it, its their fucken life. I've been used by my friends, lied to, and I've never tried to be judgmental. Of course I got either pissed or exasperated. I'm grateful for the comfort that they gave me during the time that I thought me and my ex were really over. But am I supposed to live my life the way my friends want it? I know they want the best for me but am I supposed to have friends who don't wanna talk to me if I don't do what they want me to? Or worse, insult me b/c I don't do as they say. It hurts and maybe I'll have no one at all if me and my bf break up again. But I don't want someone who's gonna judge me for the decisions I make. Regardless of all the weird fucked up shit my other friends have done, I never judged. Maybe I am mentally ill b/c maybe that's what friendship is supposed to be like and I never knew.

Suck ass but now I learned never to open my big mouth. What's the point. Maybe I'll always be alone. But its better than this. This confusing weirdass shit. I'll always miss my friends. And sorry ur not happy w/what I've done. But I'm not you and you're not me. So you'll never understand.